• White Flag in Hand

    I undress the page
    I AM
    Taken Away

    Pen is shaken
    I AM stirred
    Fluorescent in My Mind
    Every Word

    I undress the page
    I AM
    Here to Stay

    Not sure where the above was going but that is my Flow towards the end of my day.

    Dreams put away upon waking, the moment to face (as they say) the reality that sets at bay, reality that has a path calling me to step again and play.

    It all comes back to one. It all comes back to each of us as an individual as we walk the path laid before us and find our footing, our own way to step, to trace the lining of every brick and DANCE.

    The path is laid before us as we are the most capable of walking it all with a Song for those who know or at least learn to Open Ears and Hear.

    I find there has been a humming Within Me since I was young, a Song Forever seeming incomplete yet, leads me and guides me when I Give In and no longer try to ignore.

    A Song exists in all of us, incomplete, building further the tempo and beat in unison with that which is one’s Heart, one’s Breath. A song that Forever Calls out and takes hold with no intent on ever letting go.

    A song that feeds each and every cell, purifies the Rivers of Blood and brings to the Heart and further up to the mind, a dose of Love, a dose of what I see as the Creator of all Insufflating Life into all that We Be.

    So, Here I AM
    I like to say
    a drift a Melody always in Play
    Even in the moments
    I yearn just like before
    to run away
    in all that seems dismay
    but now all paths are closed
    Except for One
    enmeshed with The Light
    This bleeding Heart in my chest
    Syncing Of Beats
    I here by Confess

    A song that calls me on
    Comforts me on in
    Takes my arm up
    With White Flag
    In My Hand
    Heart Beating Racing
    Loud and Pure
    Calling in all that is Truth
    All that has been and ever was a part of me
    Love In Full Bloom
    Salty Lips
    My Blue Eyed Hue

    A song that continues to be written
    Woven I become
    by Love’s Thread
    Not even so much by me
    By this Heart
    It’s Beats
    As it brings into Rhythm
    all it Vibes on Up and on through Me
    out into a world
    fearful of darkness
    Fearful of Light too

    Within the Flow
    Melodic Turning
    A world Ready
    even without knowing
    to Fall
    To strip itself naked
    Of all that has went wrong
    To rise again in a Brighter Song
    Ever-so-Softly and Beautiful
    Ever-so Radiant and Deep

    This Song calls on You
    This Song has laced
    Every Crevasse
    Every twist and turn
    In Mind
    Heart and Body
    Within The Being-ness
    Of All That Is You
    Ever-So Patiently
    To Take Step and Dance

    This Song Calls on you
    To Grasp Hand in Hope
    In Brilliance
    To Shed Your Desolate Ways
    Empty Your Lies and al hidden in You
    Shed the mask
    Hiding all you Truly Are
    Raise Your Hand
    Take up your own flag
    Unravel the Old
    Bless the New
    Existence In Love
    Existence that Is You

    Well, my daughter is calling so movies time it is.
    LISTEN to that Heart of Yours. Quit Resisting and Fearing the Strums and every Beat. It is Here to Lead You and Guide You, Connected Fully with the Know-How and Best of the Best at How to Bring You to what is the Best and most compete you. Bring to you all that truly is for your (as well as those in line with your path) your greater benefit.

    Tonight’s post Inspired By “Color Radio – Yellow Jackets.” Dive on in…quite Melodic it was for me. Enjoy*

    Much Love,

  • Nothing More

    …and here I AM
    In my dreams
    Dancing in the rain
    Pasting stars to the walls with glue
    Only to be electrified
    From all that breaks right on through
    Light Combusting
    Swallowing Me Whole
    Plucking chords Within Me
    Forever Rings the Melody

    Proven to me again
    All already exists
    Once I ask it in
    Set it FREE
    All already exists
    Heart Sound
    Rhythmic Beats
    Salivating Lush
    Each Wisp
    Each Flowing Breeze

    I return again to pages that pull me up and wisp me away, throwing me into a tunnel of light, a brightness that, like a river flows, and pulls me right on through. I FEEL my Heart Beat and it is pounding, unique. I FEEL the urge to Breathe all the more Deeply and I FEEL a certain hum Within Me that lulls me and Calms me all the more greater with Beauteous Melody.

    I AM brought to this page to FEEL this Fire in Me and to no longer resist its burn. I AM brought here to unite my Senses and all that I AM and to Praise He as life continues to UNFOLD and present to me, Life of Dreams, those I have held and kept and those new and just now given to me.

    As I said, I AM protected as are YOU. You just Keep the Beat, the Focus, the Syncing of every Chord that Hums in you.

    In this Song of the many songs that come and go, we FEEL and take in and add to the depth of each and every single breath that we take on in and exhale to Begin Again. THERE IS NO END, we are ALWAYS Beginning AGAIN and AGAIN. Fresh each Breath is and Cleansed with a hint of Euphorically Bliss set is the footing of each new path we are called even in moments of Rain.

    We start here, you see. We take ourselves from wherever we may be and we work the words on out and Allow the Flow to the surface of our tongues or even to the tips of our fingers with keyboard or pen in hand. We FEEL and WE HOLD a certain focus upon something, anything as simple as just the word LOVE and WE BUILD upon it, WE Add to it, and We Breathe It and Share it in any way that we can.

    In our moment of focus, we are further led and branches extend on out and all the more flowing of words unite in what becomes a Harmony. WE FEEL and WE LOVE the moment that we are FREE to JUST BE and BREATHE and SING, even if only internally.

    We do not come to whatever our page may be, prepared with script in hand or a transcript of sorts, we come here FREE and slate blank and yes, BEGIN…JUST BEGIN.

    We may turn on some tun-age as I do often but sometimes the silence is the only elixir needed to Spark the Flow Of Dreams, the Flow of Creation From Him to You.

    Honestly, we are called to get to the place where we can think much of nothing. All the more reason life becomes overwhelming and weighs, leaving little room for to much outside gathering breath.

    We are called to just focus on a single word, or even just the page before us and FEEL all and whatever is brought up for us to FEEL. There is no running, no hiding, no painting it all away as this is part of what brings us in Connection with not only Him but also our purpose so many seek outward for.

    We in no way are to resist, in no way fight it, or try to shift it or bury the waves that flood upon us crash down and seem to want to drown and defeat us. When we come to this page, or whatever your page may be, we surrender and allow Love, or Him, or even just the Silence in. There is little room for choice when everything around you comes crashing on down which makes it easier to Surrender, Come Undone, and Allow.

    We find the more and more that we return that the more we FEEL FREE and Able and Assured and yes, Protected in all that is this so-called reality, DREAM.
    It is a process, on top of the many other that life offers us, that God has presented and laid upon our path as despite the way it appears, we are all more than capable of walking forward and to victory.

    LIFE is just that and can remain just as so many Believe in that this world is dark and scary and that there is no place for hope, let alone, LOVE. We have a choice in it all, and yet, so may give up their power and settle with what they have been taught or told as per their inability to grasp in full and take hold of all that is for their best.

    I AM still stepping and dancing as well upon this newest path of mine. I AM still learning and growing even at 41 and this is fine as keeping steady and LISTENING most often to that which is our heart’s beats and messages from God, we will be led to our best no matter.

    This world is a place that can test us in the worst possible ways, indeed. This world full of what is deemed hate and darkest of days can very much break one down and in turn bring one to their knees. This occurs when focus is distressed or upon something that is not of one’s benefit to what is truly their calling.

    It is best to Connect and Lower yourself on down in lighter ways and ways that You Allow as to be forced and Crash out such as I did, is no for the fain of heart and like I said, many do not come back from such.

    I Believe that while we may enjoy our lives but to enjoy this realm is not the full purpose in this experience. I have truly learned this more in having my kids. It is wonderful in so many ways but it continuously brings me to my knees and swells my eyes up.

    Until one knows their dark and knows the depths of each and every good and bad call to reaction, to emotion, to what brings us to make a choice before or after we fall, we will remain in a cycle of destruction in all and every way. There will be no room for Light or Good when, like a hamster, one does not Free them self from the wheel of distraction.

    I want to Believe that this world is all for our pleasure and greater good but I cannot any longer. I have suffered such as many of us have and to witness children suffering and those most innocent, we have to come to the conclusion that there is no Choice in WHO is so-called blessed or cursed.

    There is a reason for it all. Feel More,Choose Better, Bring on and Bring Out the Best synced with each and every Heart Beat.

    Somehow, someway, we are all capable of shifting this reality. For me it is through writing as I have said and sometimes I use the backdoor audio technique upon Prayer and Diving Deeper into the Bible and its meaning.
    If I learned how to hack my brain when only 2 1/2 years out from my TBI, I have faith that each and every person can do the same. No judging as I know we are all different in some ways but I Believe as I had to Believe in myself as well.

    My life has not been perfect but I can see clearly how I brought about certain parts and people and such and that in itself has been a gift.

    With Love,

  • Threads

     I call out to you

    to dip and dye the threading of dreams

    to take this vivid light and awaken

    all that is darkness from its eternal slumber

    to change the course of all humanity

    just by connecting

    to your heart’s cord

    letting go

    to fall

    finally surrender.

    I ask you to begin to twist

    abruptly fade out

    shimmer and crystallize

    to shine

    willingly and pure

    in a softness beyond riveting

    as the world turns to sigh

    and open eyes

    In your moment of surrender

    you begin to echo throughout the stars


    into all eternity

    the voice of everlasting hope

    that which reflects the mirror of beauty

    All that is divine*

    There is a truth in which we Dream. We are not called to block out all that is our so-called reality, nor are we asked to ignore any Feeling we have, such as pain.

    We are not called to paint the walls of all that we live so much that we no longer recognize or even hold any ability to truly see the paths laid out before us.

    We are not called to ignore the fact that this world can be a very dark place at times and can truly become that sense of hopelessness we may FEEL in any given moment.

    We are not called to Dream so much that we know not how to handle the wave that can be this so-called reality.

    We are called To Be in any and every moment. With a depth of LOVE that we each have embedded from before even our moment of birth and BUILD upon this despite all that crosses our path or stands besides us.

    I realize more now that while writing in the way I do can very much bring about certain things even such that I want, it is more that my writing in connection to My Heart’s Strum just as much as to Jesus, My God leads my words to build upon the song that had started Within me long ago.

    Despite how much we want something or think we need a certain thing in order to get to a certain place in our lives, we have to understand too, that not everything nor every one will be considered a piece that is indeed needed to bring about such places upon our path.

    More-so, I suppose, if you think of us as a puzzle, only so many pieces will fit and others will be left out in the process we take to bring the remaining pieces into form for the big picture.

    We are not able to see every turn and obstacle and such upon our path. We truly on see what is Here and Now and in this we are called to LISTEN as we are led to path completion.

    In my experience, I have seen what happens when we try to force a path and fall only into fear and desperation, such as I had while taking medications. At some point, no matter who we are, no matter what path we think is set for us to walk, we can and will be brought to our knees and the moment where we will have to answer to and choose as well, this life is not only a place where we can do as we please and without Listening to Him and Knowing without consequence.

    This is why we have our Dreams I FEEL so as to carry a tool that can help us to further Connect and Soften the steps of our path. Dreams to, are truly what I deem as a truth Within Us and also a guide as well.

    I see in my own life that in my going dark, I had to Grasp hold of and Learn to save myself through Him. I had to learn to Love myself as well again and to find and KNOW a strength in me that Always resides in all the depths that I BE.

    I had to learn also that I may not always know what is best for me on my path(s) and that I must let go of pride and my desire to be fully independent and ALLOW the pieces such as Love and Trust, Dreams, and God In.

    I had to learn that this life is not intended for me to Live a constant battle, a constant fight in trying to get all things right.

    I had to learn that I AM protected and Loved in each and every moment no matter where I AM but too, that I will only hold the clear ability to see this Truth when I continue to Call Out and be vulnerable just as a child to their mother or even father when very young.

    A lot is happening in the world at this time, but it is each of us that HOLDS the gift to SHIFT all for the best, IN LOVE, In Light, and yes, With His Light.

    Again, I have no answers for everyone, nor will I ever say that I know all as I do not. No one can know in this state, all that IS and from where we came. I FEEL just as I had, there comes that moment when we may be reminded in some way as we do Truly hold Within Us all that IS Truth and Knowing and this activates alone a call all on its own whether you listen to the reply or not is again, your own free will to do-so.

    Our job is to just keep focus (on love, on Light, His Light, God, Jesus), keep adding to and building upon all that Beauty Within as it will Pull You In and Hold You There and Walk you right on through even the darkest of alleyways before you.

    Blessed are we that Dream. Blessed are we, that too, can walk this path of what appears as reality and hold strong as well to This Light Within. This is proven to me each time I find my pen against paper again, each time I Free My Space to Allow in the Voice, His Voice, Heart Synced Beats, and The Flow of what I call, His Creation.

    With Love,




  • Take this Dose, Call Me in the Morning

    Beautiful We Are
    Reaching out to
    beyond the stars
    Glitter shaken and threaded
    Within these hearts of ours

    Beautiful We Are
    Magnificent wonder
    All that we beam
    Just as life unfolds
    Magic It Seems
    These waves and me

    Beautiful We Are
    Sun, Moon, Stars
    Finally Blooming
    Bringing Oceans to Part
    Golden Paved Pathway Start
    No place like home we finally are

    Beautiful We Are
    Here and Now
    Wide and Far
    as in this moment
    All that we have dreamed
    All that we hold

    My vision is clear and I AM beyond Happy about this. I AM finding more and more Peace Within and even here where I AM.

    This is how we do it I keep saying. We just keep thinking and FEELING it, and shifting it, stretching it out, and re-shaping all the crap that attempts to penetrate.

    We can not build walls high enough to keep darkness out. It is here for a reason just as much as the light, but it is up to us to CHOOSE and keep choosing our most lit way.

    LIFE is truly a mixture of what can be so GOOD just as much as what can all go to shi* and well, bring us to a place full of misery and defeat.

    No matter, we work our way through it all. Somehow, someway, we FIND our way. It starts with giving ourselves NO OTHER OPTION, which I get is not always easy. You may have to trick yourself at the start in some way with focusing on something that Inspires and Lifts You Up in Love in some way, but you keep going and flowing it but you break away from such the grip you hold and do it on your own.

    Love can still be shared with any and everything that you deem most inspiring to your journey, but again, Connect to God if you are willing, and find that place of Trust In You as YOU ARE BEYOND CAPABLE. This coming from a so-called disabled, broken brain girl. Ha!

    I stumble and fall still even after all these years going over a dang embankment that was meant to teach me to NOT do such things again and yet, I remain human, so I naturally f* up and slip up and destroy many of the desired paths I have chosen for myself.

    Seriously, I have found others with similar and also stroke victims later becoming lawyers and such, so yeah, time for me to heighten my expectations and play a better game here in my life.

    Well, I go back and forth on this having confidence in myself and overcoming what has been my overwhelm, as I have seen the way that God has worked in my life and the proof of how some paths would have truly been worse for me in the end and he detoured such for me. I may still question some parts…but again, it is not for me to know. It is for me to trust somehow in someway that all will work out for my best, for my kids best, for my lil family.

    All that is for me to know HERE is my ABILITY to LISTEN and FEEL and well, act accordingly from that Heart of Mine…but with free-will, I remain free to choose as I will but I must accept consequence of each choice I make outside of what truly is my best guidance through Love, Through Syncing of Beats, Through the man who has eternally stood next to me; Jesus, My Father, My God.

    We each have that space to which we are called and further connected to and knowing of all that IS and all that truly is what some call the source of all Creation which I know as God. It is funny how some have so much hesitation and fear in even saying His name or being known as a Believer. I have had some hesitation as I said it has been part of my lessons since my injury to Brave even sharing me KNOWING HIM and My Trial(s) and Lessons.

    It is said that we are supposed to not share our problems and bottle them up to float the seas I suppose, which in turn only one day return being washed up upon the shore so…no sense in hiding any part that is you. Open the Door and Face yourself Now.

    While I AM not here complaining and asking for any person to save me from my pain or even calling myself a victim, I know some may think otherwise and that is fine. I AM here for me. Some may call that selfish, but more of us should be interested in learning how to love all parts of our self all the while not painting ourselves another color to fit societies demands, family expectations, and friends, etc.

    This is ME though. My own Path, my own process of becoming and learning and knowing all that I Am and can be. Learning to FACE oneself is truly a difficult task for many. Choosing to step upon the path that is paved only with that which is our dark and failures and mistakes and wrongs is truly heart-wrenching and not easy in any way.

    There is a LIGHT Always By our side but in the face of what is our internal hell, we often times suffer blindness and at this moment, we are truly called to trust Him, Our Heart, Our Senses and to shed all that we have been taught here in this reality as this goes far beyond any knowing here.

    I have seen in my life the moments that I literally fell in despair and it was proven to me that my moments, (even though few at that time) calling out to God, that I WAS HEARD and understood fully. My pain was seen and understood as well and I was shown the Beauty that it all was worth.

    As I said, this life can bring about tremendous shi* and truly come to a point of almost destroying us completely and some, to their complete end. Life is not just for show, it is not just for fun and games nor without consequence in any way.

    What we put out ALWAYS returns to us in every way. Maybe not today, maybe not even very shortly after, but in every bit of the way, all you give out WILL return back to you. It may not look the same or even FEEL completely familiar even, but I truly FEEL in those moments, we just KNOW as we are forced to OPEN EYES FULLY and Truly See who we are in all that we have been and continue to be.

    I say it matters if we all Believe in Him, but I get that many remain hesitant, many still may not be ready. I say also again that I BELIEVE That we all come to our moment and place in this time/space reality that we can no longer ignore His Call and without even trying, we OPEN THE DOOR.

    While My Life has been a very wild ride, at least years ago, I AM beyond glad and grateful I was able to come to that place and Open that Door. Even though this meant the shedding and having to let go of who I once was and the life I had led, I remain grateful as I see how the lessons have built me.

    I AM a much better person today with Open Heart and Eyes, and well, a dose of self love as well on top of knowing HIM (as I sought out all those years ago) and truly knowing now that I AM not alone and there is truly No End as This Love that we are continues infinitely.

    Well, that is my dose for the day…I think.

    WIth Love Forever and Always,


  • Heavenly Splendor

    Found another No-Form, Rambling Poem tonight.

    I dip my toes again

    Into what is the surreal ether

    Of all that is beautiful


    Full of sweet breath

    I take my hand

    Waft it all to me

    On to You

    Again and again.

    I sip the deliciousness of this moment

    All tickles my tongue

    Floods within me a river wide



    Elicit to the sight of such brightness

    Only a stroke of light can extend

    Reflected are the beams of sun

    Across a mirror full of possibility

    Reflecting back to one’s allowing

    Heavenly splendor

    To take up the world and dance

    while held in arms of human flesh

    All the while exposed to the realms

    Laid beyond the veins

    That we carry

    Life-giving melody

    That IS

    Just as I take up the song in me

    The song in You

    Lay it out across the exosphere

    Erupting the release

    Surrender to

    Un-seeded smiles

    Unfamiliar we rise

    Stars dotted within our eyes

    Twinkling just a bit

    In a moment

    Heaven falls to burst open

    To burst in what we call heart



    Ever beating heart

    Emphasized are the peaks i

    Those which we seek

    Only to realize

    Here they are


    in hand

    in heart

    in soul

    We then stop

    close our eyes


    and glow

    Before I lay myself down to rest, I sorted through poems again of my past. My mom also sent me photos through text of some moments I asked for within the years leading up to my injury just so I could see “ME” and that was nice and try again to formulate a timeline.

    Though I would like a true timeline of those last years, I know that what matters is the here and now. Here and Now is what we all truly have so this is where our focus should remain. There was a reason I had forgotten most till now, so continuing the process of Within.

    My purpose in looking back is that I guess I finally FEEL ready to. I wish I could have turned my mind on sooner but again, this was a part of my healing process since my injury and obviously for 20 years, me recalling much prior was not part of His plan and may had effected me in ways that were not beneficial to this path set before me.

    I AM yet, to learn the full purpose but in part, I had to Be Me in the way I was with full focus on my kids in all we had endured and continue to. My Here and Now had to be most important and maybe just for them but life is full of surprises, so we shall see.

    While my mind has left me with little memory since that moment, I AM being called to look back now so as to see my smile even when it turned dark for me inside. I have some pretty nice photos that I AM happy to have received today reminding me that Life was not always bad and that I too, was not always what I felt as a failure as there was a lot of happiness shared and surrounding me.

    We are all called to look at all parts of who we have been and are as well, all our pieces matter in who we are IN THIS MOMENT and of course, Our next. No one can run far enough or paint the walls enough to rid what is their own and this includes all that one has lived, good and bad, happy and sad, full of love and full of hate.

    Anyways, I AM left with a gap leading up to my injury which my mom estimated may have been about 3-4 months? I AM not even sure, but that downward spiral went pretty fast I suppose and served its purpose to bring me to my knees in a Very Deep Way.

    We all get lost sometimes, we all hurt and fall and fail. We also all come to places in our lives that we FEEL hopeless and many, if not all of us, turn the full blame back on ourselves and hence, start the cycle of self destruction which is what happened to me and which gives dark full entry to taking control.

    The moment we turn on ourselves, it takes a tremendous power, a tremendous energy to shift us back to good again, shift us back to our truth again and yes, shift us back to God again. When we turn on ourselves our dark takes more and more of us and bleeds the colors out. More and more becomes chiseled away until we do not even recognize ourselves and have no way of recognizing any other who means well either.

    Continuing to dive in and learn more. It is a tad exciting seeing pieces of what had been. The process continues and I AM FEELING more of a Light coming My Way and I Trust that It Most Definitely Will Flood this World I LIVE.

    I see and Feel as well, Great Light washing over this world as well. Very soon indeed. I Believe*

    With Love,




  • Coming Together In Love

    Cut to Stars,
    Placed in Sky,
    Night Falls Upon Us…

    Smile Arises
    Thought such was lost
    Tickles Deep
    Leaves Yet
    another Breath

    Life and Love
    Dreams and Reality 
    No place Better 
    Then Here
    As We Breathe…
    Embraced We Are


    Today was a good day. I AM well on my way. I AM.

    Now, I want to scratch some previous remarks and declare and now own that I AM no diagnosis in any way.

    I AM FREE and I AM LOVE, and I have control of my life in ways I need with this Light Within that continues to FEEL INSPIRED and SING and WRITE and Be…all alongside Jesus My Lord as He Walks right along with me.

    I can attempt to deny all that truly IS Within Me and this whole Realm that I, you, She, and He stand, but the more I let go and Surrender, Give in, and Let Him In, I AM led in miraculous ways to Open Pathways of Translucent Light that shower me again and again.

    This is the Rain I speak of that I shall Always be a part of. The glimmering, shimmering, cleansing, and purifying rain. Renewal of my spirit, renewal of all I AM in this Earthly Plain.

    I FIND MY WAY ALWAYS through the moments I write. Even My Pattern App states that I AM unique and truly my best when FREELY and WILLINGLY Connected to and Allowing in my Creativity.

    I prove it to myself over and over again only to get lost again, such a human would. Ha!

    I honestly was starting to even have a dislike for my new apartment but I have since let that go as well. I have started to Connect more to this Inner Creativity and Love calling me and it is Beautiful.

    I have started to tidy up more and even hang some pictures finally…you know, making this place Home.

    I felt quite a bit better today and not nauseous at all though I had a wave of fatigue hit me and it was amazing at it did not linger, it did not in any way remain. I Am thinking all the sleep I had the past few days helped me build up my reserves again.

    Tomorrow is laundry day again but my son is set to help me out this time. Also more to take up to the hospice thrift as the purge continues here at Home to make way for better, our best again, new.

    The skies have been looking clear the past couple days and I appreciate that though I have not been out too much in resting and working more on this space.

    I re-positioned my pillow on my bed to sleep on the opposite end away from the window as well, I have no curtain placed yet and would wake looking outside behind the blinds which meant anyone could walk up and watch me sleep which I think I will pass on.

    The space is clearing up, the clutter being removed, and the energy of this place is truly stating to come alive. I AM very happy to have some energy again.

    In saying that I need to get down to rest for the night as long day tomorrow and well, to keep closer to a better schedule.

    Much Love,




    PS. The more I learn and am reminded, I write and can speak to life through Him. Especially before bed, as well, it stays close to your subconscious which is important in the creation factor as well. Well, I Believe we all can, so get to it.

  • Poetry Floods Me Again

    Busy still but had Come Away With me by Donots on repeat and this poured out so sharing for now.

    Gentle is the song that calls
    pulls me up whenever I fall
    tickles my nose and sparks my smile
    grasps my hands all the while
    embracing me whole

    This song
    All at the same time
    My Dark and Light
    is fully exposed
    On full display
    to ignite fear or-so I think
    as the world may collapse
    or rather just hide away

    Yet…taking breaths to breathe
    This World Of Me and You
    just as every single one of you
    as the Truth Is
    standing Within US
    and Always Nearest BY

    Wrapped in Light We Are
    Gifts of the Angels
    Dust of the Stars

    With Love,




  • With Heart, With Love

    Hello Again. I woke today with more energy and was able to clear some things out though now readying again to rest. Hoping much shorter this time but I shall see. In the meantime, a poem for this moment now.

    Half asleep/half awake…

    I set fire to myself again
    Panicked once the burn had set in
    Tears a falling
    Screams escaping
    making walls collide

    Left was I
    to fall again to overwhelm
    Yearning to just lay down
    Nap again
    Rest away
    Turn off the Light of day

    Yet, the moment I silenced
    my mind
    I felt no pain
    I felt very much alive
    FEELING the warmth
    of melted core wash over me
    as born again
    My Creative Side
    Heart Beating Inside Me

    Color after color started to flow
    all the more
    and a Spark of Energy indeed erupted
    to feed every cell
    with My tears carried by Heart
    wishing well again
    to comfort me with a knowing
    I AM granted
    I Am Loved
    Listened too

    (neither are you)
    Powerful In all moments
    Even On My Own
    Even in the moments Rose Garden Overgrown
    Stars exit the skies
    Sun falls and the moon disappears again
    with Creation flowing Within us all
    alongside God’s hand
    we are called to Embrace It

    Allow It In
    Light it Up
    With Heart
    With Love


  • Reflect This

    You flood in me a world of poetry,
    Walls broken down,
    Yet, without no such pain,
    No such sound…
    Only the softness of hands intertwined,
    as only Waves

    Heart shaped,
    Lips wet,
    Sweetness poured,
    Calling me to surrender,
    Falling into you
    As once again
    Ocean Sound
    Pulls Me In
    Floods Me Just the Same

    Doors Wide Open
    No stopping Waves that tumble on in
    Pour and Speak
    I can no longer resist Allowing In
    A reality that IS Truly Free
    Ocean Sound
    Dipping My Toes

    You Flood Me in a World of Poetry
    Each and Every Breath
    Ocean Sound
    Such as You
    Such that IS Me

    Well, I overslept today and my vision has been messing with me today. Thinking the antihistamine pills are to blame but no worries I say as all will remedy itself soon.

    You talk it up, you see.

    This carnivore way of eating has felt pretty bland in some ways but I have not veered off and though I had cravings I have no more that stick and haunt me. I AM Feeling better health-wise outside my vision today and the oversleeping but again, my house is not complete so that can be part of the problem as well as continued healing and well, just as with sickness, one typically Feels worse before Feeling better, so I AM hopeful.

    It is all about finding a certain balance and yes, Freeing up the space for such to be Allowed on in I Believe.

    I have been called to reflect some and I want to share.
    I did not come here to cry about my life nor point blame. I do my best to own my stuff no matter what comes and I do Feel that is truly important upon ones path.

    I fully understand how I came into certain experiences in my life and I Am continuing to break down the pieces of my life that I can fully recall and learn from it all even if it is never a complete picture.

    Some never have memories returned in any way, so I AM thankful again that I have in many areas of my life, even if many remain faceless per se’.
    I have found that communication is of most importance here in life. So many of us hide from what was our past or what is our present or even what is becoming our futures’.

    We each have a place Within us that holds a certain darkness which is only that much more awake and powerful when we do in fact feed it by thoughts, Feelings, and yes, calling out to it all the more.

    I have learned that in some ways this certain dark is needed to bring us to balance in who we are but again, it is there also to test our focus, to test that which is truly our own Light our own ability to know it is present and still FACE it and walk steady and true within the bounds of Love.

    I spoke before of burnt bridges and well, while many have been burnt by me, there are many that have been burnt in connection to me.

    Burnt bridges are not something I take lightly as truly there came a point to which the bridge itself self-combusted and exploded I Feel.

    I miss pieces of my past and I too miss pieces of the girl I think I was and so many say I was. I see pictures of me smiling with the most-lit and brightest smile which again proves that depression and such has no true face. It is deceitful in itself and it brings one suffering to a place of barely having the breath to speak.

    There is no way to detect it in anyone truly. It all comes back to communication but again, not having the ability to Breathe in the depths of it, very little can be said.

    We all know too that in the moment one is unable to Breathe, the mind loses the Oxygen it needs as does the Heart and so further destruction occurs within what is the body here.

    One can only paint the face for so long and many are truly really good at it, but again, it is fueled by that inner dark which is best at deceit altogether so it comes with ease as well, we merely become zombies who follow a certain voice as all else is blocked out.

    Now…this is not me saying that I was nor any other that suffers depression is a victim. I truly hate that term as I FEEL that in the depths of a certain darkness we all become soldiers and well, some lose the fight, some succumb to the battle and are overcome.

    I AM trying to think of better ways but again, I FEEL that we could talk all day about such things. A depressed patient can be brought in and share all “they think” is bringing them down and repeat and repeat with Feedback and Advice and more than likely a pill too that rids a person of nothing but the remaining Light and Good that IS Within.

    In finding that box of mine, I could have sat day in and day out, reading and sulking and continuing further to Feed again and awaken that certain dark that I hold again.

    I could have read and read and Continued to Connect with the trails of my past and also the pain that I felt and that which I also caused but I had to bring it to a full stop.

    Like I said, One Has To Face the dark that is Within them but you do not continue to Feed it nor entertain it in any way. That is how one gets lost and is swept up in a wave that shall never wash them again ashore to be found.
    You cannot have love in a moment of hate just as you cannot have hate in a moment You Are Loving.

    Our thoughts go on to turn into what is Our Beliefs. They start small and in time the domino effect begins and just like waves of an ocean, you have little chance to withstand them when they hit more grown and hard.
    Just as many get swept up in their darkest, the same can be for what is ones’ Light as well.

    I like my backdoor way through sleep audios to help one let down deep resistance to give up control which is dark’s desire but it can be done in other ways as well but may take more time depending on where one is and their own Desire to wanting to return to better.

    You find something, anything, that keeps your focus during the day as much as possible on some sort of Good, Love, Happy. You take that and you continue to bounce up from it the more You Truly Feel it. IT HAS TO BE PURE AND TRUE THOUGH. It cannot be forced in any way.

    If you Feel uncertain about a certain thing you try to focus on, you have already lost…move on to the next. You keep looking through the good that has been, the good that IS, and what it is you Dream of to Come. From there You Allow it to Pull You In. That again is another piece to the “letting go” so many speak of I have found. YOU GIVE UP CONTROL and YOU ALLOW yourself to be Drenched, Uplifted, Pulled In and Spun about to even just a moment of a Brighter Moment, Day.

    This is why too, it is important to pay attention to areas of your life that You Feel suffocated, Numbed Out consistently, and without a voice, as this your sign to Move Along Connect to what is the cause and build new pathways.

    You Build and You Build and You Build. THE BRIDGE*

    It all starts in Your Heart. Do not be fooled by that mind of yours. The Heart knows Your Truth, Knows the Path Your Feet fit best and yes, LISTEN.

    Again though, there are many (just like I was) that have lost all ability to Listen anymore. Love and every Heart Beat is only felt as a toxin that burns. This is why the backdoor is best to bring the barriers down little by little, (sometimes it is much quicker depending on the person) and from there one is TO FEEL and from there BUILD which is to continually in some sort of way drench their own self within the thoughts through the beats that FEED the best in them , FEED The Love Within.

    Well, AT LEAST FOR ME, this is what I have found and I continue to fail and get swept up at times but that is the human in us all truly. We are not here for easy and while there are many who have truly hard lives that seem unfair, we each have a way of making it through to better I Believe.

    Tap that Heart and drink up the way to better as it will always be carved out and OPEN FOR YOU.

    My way has been slowly found again through writing and Listening to music that fuels me in some way. If my thoughts start veering down that dark path, I may allow a moment or 2 but I KEEP FOCUS on that destination My Heart Craves and I Listen as I never had before.

    Finding My Way again and maybe helping some on the way too though now I AM called to nap again. Soon enough the energy in me will pour as well.

    With Love,

  • I AM Here

    Elixir of Spirit Fills Me Full
    Veins on to Heart dispersed By Arteries
    My Heart as it Pumps
    Leading Me To Breathe Ease

    Elixir of Spirit Fills Me Full
    Memories and Dreams on Past Now Future
    My Heart as it pumps
    Me closer to Reverie Born

    Elixir of Spirit Fills Me Full
    Sparks in Me Stars of Euphoric Rush
    My Heart as it Pumps
    All that is the Universe to Me

    Elixir of Spirit Fills Me Full
    Heart that continues to Beat
    Lungs and Chest Holding and Offering Breaths as they pass
    Dreams Past and Present not a lie but Present all the more
    Universe Breaks Inside and Flower Fields Increase in Size
    Stories Written
    Stories To Be Told

    This I Continue To Create
    Life In Beauty that Unfolds
    Love Ignited

    You Are Loved to the depths and beyond all that is of the Ocean and the Swiftness of each river bed. You Are Loved in ways you have no ability in this human state to even be able to truly FEEL its Fullness nor even recognize as it is resting always by your side.

    There is a vastness Within You and yes, Beyond You too, but truly it is all that We Are…Ever-Expanding Core, Beat after Beat, Love like Lava does Abundantly Pour.

    As I have experience it, from my own personal Life, it is in LOVING outside one’s self that we find our best way. I found such through having My Heart resting always outside of me when my kids came into Being. I FEEL I had found some pieces prior as I said, I was connected and knowing upon waking but as life goes, it was slowly being beaten out of me as well, I did not fit the reality that everyone close to me had been and had to continue to live which was not always pleasant and easy.

    I Am beyond thankful that while I have suffered much since waking as well, I have been able to Be Here and watch my children grow though, my memories of such have faded in some ways. I have promise though that through pictures and also as what has been my body’s way of bringing back memories when I do focus in ways I need to, and even in moments I have no idea how they come about, all WILL come fully back again.

    Well, enough on me before I go on a rambling tangent that I Am known to do.
    Lets Create Shall We? (Just rambling next unedited so take it as you will as I need to get to bed)

    Walls have tumbled down
    Not only within but throughout
    All that was dark has lightened to only shades of gray
    and in My Reality
    The Light
    My Heart
    Remains on Always

    I have Found Boxes of Music Laying About
    With Strums that Speak Volumes
    With Beats that go on to Hum
    Within Every Part of Me
    As further I Become
    Rewriting all to Good
    Laying New Paths
    Even as I Stand
    Even in the moment My Feet Land

    I continue to Find
    Melodic Voices
    Reconstructing My Mind
    Paving Within Me Paths of Brilliance
    Full Of Love
    Full of what is only the depths
    To Heal and Yes Shine
    Bring About all that is the Divine
    With Deeper the Ability
    To Listen
    and Pray
    and HEAR For Always the Answers that Guide My Best Way

    It is nice to know this presence in me
    like a friend it has come to be
    known in my most light
    just as well as my darkest
    Offering Me Always a helping hand
    Offering Me Always Love that can withstand
    the beats of my emotional waves
    the rise and the fall of the survivor in me
    that I Am finally learning more to keep calm
    as I have found My Way Again
    I have found Love In Me again

    I keep On
    and Yes, I have won
    I mean truly won
    though nothing is perfect
    It needn’t be
    My little space IS HOME
    and all on the inside as well as out
    reflect back to me daily
    Truth of this heart
    and I AM happy
    I AM I AM I AM
    as I have found a certain peace again
    I have found a fountain of love within that continues to flood on out and pour
    nourishing all that is me from beginning to end
    never is there an end truly
    well, you know what I mean

    Back to Love I AM
    well, did it ever leave
    as Love has not once left me
    I only had blinders on
    and knew not how to Listen for its call
    resting by my side always it has been
    waiting for me to sing aloud
    and just Feel the vibrations that it sent
    To Open the Door and let it on In and I have
    and I Will Always

    Love Continues to carve out more and more rivers in me
    With a Force that is not overwhelming anymore
    with a force that matches that of my own core
    This force is a breath of fresh air
    and it runs deep
    and it carves me deeper
    leading me to only seek it out
    and I can Feel it
    Heck, I can see it
    and I Freely Live it day on to nights rest
    on into Dreams all the more
    and awakened again by its kiss in the morn

    I AM glad I have found
    in me a song that truly never ends
    a song that calls to me
    and guides my way
    a song that loves me unconditionally
    just as I do it
    a song that speaks of love and beauty
    just as I more and more see the light grow as the lyrics and/melody flow
    A love that is only within not outside of me
    Returned to me a certain Beauty
    in the smiles I once upon a time held so largely formed

    It is HERE and NOW
    that I prop this door on open
    without Fear I AM declaring these songs welcomed on in
    For, I trust that I have found
    what is the greatest love
    my greatest friend
    truly Heaven sent
    and in its purest form
    as in these hands of mine
    this heart of mine
    beats continue to play out
    Love Embraced
    all along this dance floor
    where not a tear falls
    only smiles adorn
    no more pain within this heart nor limbs of mine
    as I have been set again to glow
    taking step after step
    in rhythm
    in tune
    to a life once dreamed
    now true

    Not sure if it all makes sense. I am tired and can barely keep my eyes open. In trying to fix my schedule, I have only been able so far to cut mere minutes back but I AM getting there again.

    Anyways…Make it your own in whatever way you choose. Read it, sing it, set it against music (preferably 435hz) and record it and listen to it as often as you can but most definitely as you lay to rest to sleep.


    With My Love,

    PS. Some do but I wanted to remind you all that I Am open to messages (I believe the email is on my site? mbercene@mberdream.com) if you need any advice or have questions here but again, I AM just working the processes I need to back to better again and through My God as I know it works and being transparent so you will know it is not always perfect nor a pleasant experience in getting there.

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