Two Hearts
Unfold as One
Flesh Exposed
Memory Happily Arose
Smiles Juxtapose
And now shall forever Shine
Softly as Warm Rain falls
Embrace does pave a-new dance hall
In the hearts of two
In the hearts of all
Hands clasped together
Called
To Become the Sun
To Melt the Dew
Forever Melt on Through
Ever-Calling, Ever-Reminding,
THIS
Beautiful Face named Love.
(No form needed here today, apparently, lol)
Lets begin.
Every single moment, every single breath in and those released on out are such that is a new beginning. Time and time again, we are called and it is our in our choosing as to if we surrender and give in all in a moment that we remain vulnerable to the force that is life, the force that is given by the LORD, or if we rebel and allow the consequence of all that we resisted and refused.
I have been reading as much as I can and awaiting to dive deeper on in after I receive my eyeglasses through which I will be able to see more clearly and lessen some of the fatigue I have been experiencing though insurance refused to pay for my Transitions nor even my tint as per my eyes being super sun sensitive.
I AM only looking forward to the moment that in me the floodgates again break on open and I AM inspired to Create, SIng out, and BE as HE has called me. I Love living in the place that I FEEL and Know Him Fully.
Today up in my hills the sky is full of smoke as fires near and around my little world breathe and take on oxygen to continue what I know as pieces to God’s wrath.
Yesterday my area was called for outages but Thankfully and because of God, my complex ( I came to learn) resides in an area sharing the same grid with a hospital and emergency services so outages are more unlikely so ours remained on…so far.
I Pray and I KEEP my focus on He as well, that is what I AM called again to do as again (well, we aL are), despite all that is going on and despite all that is set on the agenda of evil is in no way stirring fear in me as His Word directly says which we are to Hold Close:
Isaiah 41:10 – Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
2 Timothy 1:7 – For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
1 John 4:18 – There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
Psalms 34:4 – I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
Proverbs 29:25 – The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.
Proverbs 19:23 – The fear of the LORD tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil.
The LORD has proven to me that He is HERE and NOW by my side always (one just has to want to Believe for a start) even when I had not fully Believed that He was. I have witnessed miracles not only in my life but have seen shifts and changes in the lives of others that even at times they themselves may have not even taken notice of.
I also have seen that even if a separation is seen here and pain is left behind, many have been taken on up out of pain within this world as their prayers were heard as well…and in other ways, they fulfilled a certain purpose as per HIS plan.
IT STARTS with BELIEF. Even if one does not FEEL fully that they do, they will be pulled in further and shown evidence that truly not only sets them free but also Deepens the Belief Within…REMINDS THEM of all that they Truly Are and Who He Truly IS.
We as a world for far too long have turned a cheek and blind eye to the forces of evil that have been and still remain today.
We have seen and have been aware of such things taking place but have allowed ourselves to sleep and put all concern away as we allowed ourselves to get into the menatlity that we were safe from such actions against us, thet we were invincible, and that we only had to enjoy this life fully as much as we can and well, die.
We have been born here as such a Miracle in itself and we have lived in such a way that for some of us, we Feel that there is no purpose to such and that we are to just to struggle and have our fun or even rebel and yes, come to our certain end. Some of us even Feel as though we are owed something in return for our pain yet, we are and will be rewarded in what is our end HERE, but many get far too caught up and lost in the dreaded dark and find themslves in unrest with walls built so high they are unable to Feel His caress nor Hear the Words He Call on out and has to say.
I mean, looking just at the idea of being born in itself opens up all possibility and truth in my opinion that there is so much more than even our eyes can see. One has to ask themself what would be the overall ourpose for all of us to be born here to just die and for nothing else to ever be or become? There is a reason fo it all. Always has been always will be.
This Moment CALLS on its own an inspiration to Look Within and Deeper as to the meaning and OUR Why but there are many that either know not how to, or fear doing-so as well, the answer is far too much to swallow. It can be too great a so-called responsibility than to living numb and blinded.
Many do not want anything else added to their plate of sorrow and struggle and only want to remain distracted and turned off for their time here as to add anything else would be far too overwhelming.
Many have given up on their Dream or even coming back together with those whose love had been deemed lost as it is all to scary to want to Embrace something we do not fully Believe we would ever hold, though in the moment we step outside that line we had drawn in the sand, we are swpt up into FEELING and Knowing the Love we had sought all along and thought lost.
Sometimes this is Within the confines of this so-called reality and others it is Within only ourselves where a certain Peace is found and HELD as WE in turn FEEL Close those we had thought lost.
We Come to KNOWING not just Him but all and everything in all ways. Such is ap piece of BELIEVING Him on In.
We come to KNOWING that nothing ever truly leaves us and that it is WITHIN our abiity to Face our Fear of Loving and Losing again that we are Filled with the Reality that comes into BEING of Holding such AGAIN sometimes as I said in this reality and some in a knowing that they are waiting nearest our side until we step over the illusionary wall again when our time comes.
The key that many have missed is that yes, this life can be far overwhelming and pretty much shi* a lot of the time. The dark of this realm can dampen the Light that is readily and obviously available for us to see and grasp but again, this is our test, this ever in our own ability to WILLINGLY and Desiringly Reach For and take hold of…to honestly Create an Open Door alongside Him that Allows even the faintest Glow that continues to Grow the more and more others take notice and catch on to their own ability.
Our Task here is to For Always Crack open the wall of deception, the wall of separation, the wall of dark, the wall of lies that have been fed to each of us with their desolate agenda at hand. It is our MOMENT to Rise in Our Truth and SEE right on through the lie they continue to feed.
My life is far from perfect but it is working out for me (as I CHOOSE to see through all the shi* presented to me) and my kids and I are content in many ways but life is not meant to be content for us either. To think that this is meant to be easy after Jesus the son was nailed to a cross just for us is ignorant to say the least.
We are to Embrace the damn challenges and KNOW that we are not alone in the path that we Walk ever, to know that the DREAM that we seek is His as well and to know that there is no fear we need to Breathe In at any moment as even in our failing he has s safety net for us to fall Within.
There are many challenges that remain for myself as well as my kids and we have yet to fully grasp the open door for us in many areas but we are walking our walk and we are coming close to breakthrough after breakthrough. In many ways, all I do is for them, I have been Inspired to my better for them and I have Inspired to Learn more and Want more all that is this Life, but now too, I AM Inspired to come further and deeper to KNOW My LORD and the Gift(s) he has allotted me in this path as I AM ever-an-important piece to my kids Learning where and how to focus in not just this time but the days that come up for WE.
In reading more and more of My Bible, HIS WORD, and listening to my tunes and writing and well, just BEING as I PRAY, I AM seeing more and more Light Open Before Me and I AM Feeling more and Deeper Peace come over me, I AM FEELING all the more Love in My Life which is a Beautiful thing and wonderful place to be.
I have moments of anxiousness, but they have been just that, moments that do not last long in any way Reminding Me again the Power that from HIM is Within ME.
Doors continue to open and I gratefully take the handles and step right on through from one world to another, from better on into even more better as He has me, He Always has me. In HIS Hands always a softness that awaits me.
I say this as in reading more, I have come to find that in creating my own path and choosing as I had even despite this injury these past…let me see…almost the full 20 but shall say at least 15 years; I have Opened my own door to the reality and the pain I have continued to live even despite the success I have had in healing and the miraculous steps I have been able to take.
I thank those who even got me looking outside myself eben for their toxic ways as in wanting to help them, I better learned to grow and help myself and be a better and stronger mother for my kids. In having to do much of it all on my own with the little support I had from a few friends and resources along the way, I learned to KNOW HIM more and know my own ability to yes, RISE and ONLY RIse as I found the one path in me that gave me no further opportunity but to Embrace and take on the path laid before me and while this place in my path remains imperfect, I AM at a certain peace here as well as my kids and I know and trust that for now, this is right where we need to be. I AM reminded with this Peace that I did what I needed to do and that I heard His call and that I listened this time FULLY, Thankfully. >>>run on but I do not care. 😉
Despite the symptoms I have had over the past little while that have mostly subsided, I witnessed a falling away the more and more I cleaved to HIM and the more that I let a world label and diagnose me and not EMBRACE any of it as I only saw my way and who I was and Am through He, the LORD.
I, in thinking I honored myself in the ways I was called to and in allowing the treatment I had received over the past few years, paved further the path I have walked that only grew more and more dim over the years. I gave up my importance on who I was and in turn, I further gave up my focus and the importance on who God IS…was to me.
I got back into trying to survive when I had already been granted the gift in doing-so. I got swept up in being beaten down on who I was and my ability t o help them, so I began to be led in a way that I saw myself as broken again and my body only knew to do what it had and survive in the ways that it held it in the pain, held in the emotional divide, and painted dark as Light though it was very fake and not in any way true delight.
I came to a place where in part I allowed for a time others to tell me who I was (or try to as I fought back firecely) and chip away at my own KNOWING and my own identity. Thankfully, I AM not no weakling and my internal knowing knew not to Believe any of it.
I only allowed myself to think that they needed help with their own weakness in having to break down and judge others, that I was to help them also find Him as well, but I finally arose in KNOWING that this was not the place I was called to Be nor help in any longer in any way. As I came to Know Him, they too will have their moment, their timing IF it comes to be but as for me, I have my own path to adhere and Listen and walk upon.
I had to come to that place where I was able to see through the deception that was painted as so-called weakness and helplessness by them and LISTEN to the Word HE Called Within Me. To remember always the strength I had came to know even in myself from my place of once broken to Now and that we all have such an ability on Our Own the moment we choose to Seek Him.
I had done my time, I suppose one can call it that, as again, I paved this path by having turned away from the LORD for the years I attempted to control my own path again. I had placed upon me the duities that were not my own, that were not of my calling By Him.
I lost my way and in turn, I brought on what was only more struggle, more pain, more brokeness, and more debilitating symptoms Within me. When one does not Turn to and ALLOW HIM In, Life truly becomes Shi* and only brings about more Shi*.
- a lil tibit of OBVIOUS Truth in this is that in my moment at one time over these past few years when I was trying to control all outcomes, my yard literally flooded with sewage in a park ( yes, so disgusting!) after the line broke in my own yard. Now if that was not an obvious sign enough of my lack in right focus, I do not know what else could speak so highly. It was time to listen but I remained off path for a couple more years unfortunately.
LIFE becomes unclean in other words when our focus, our direction as per His calling is not pure, not according to the Truth we are called to Live.
I AM not fully through all that has pained me and I AM not fully through all the ills I have felt, but I AM well on my way as I have found Him again (OPENED MY EYES) and in many ways, I have my kids to thank as it starts with thinking outside our own self as we are here to serve. I AM truly getting better and better as are they and it is great!
Sure, we can pray for our own peace and our own ills to diminish and fade on out, we can pray for our own sorrow to end and for the best path for us to open on up and in some moments and ways we will be heard and granted what we deem our Dream.
We can Dream and pray for the money we desire and for the house and for the car, etc. but it means nothing as this is all worldly things, especially if the desire comes from an unclean mind only. Such that is a drea,m may still come into having and us grasping full hold of but unless it is Within the Embrace of the LORD, it will succumb and crumble and turn toxic in some way. Maybe not at the moment nor tomorrow or the next say but I guarantee that at some point the painted walls of deceit to hide the dirt will fall away and all will flood your reality and self destruct.
The Miracle Always is Sparked when we are able to cross our own barrier and think and FEEL outside our own Self, our own Life, our own Joy and pain and yes, want the same good for all by owning even the worst that we have done or been, are.
This in no way means that we have to give up on all that we want nor set free all that we dream as I do Believe in many ways, our dreams are most definitely sent by He, but we again, this is another part of our test…To grasp our own ability to set our own desires aside and do what is right according to His Will not our own…to do what is being called of us in a moment, answer the cries that are heard right next to us and no longer Feekl aby peace in the attempts to ignore.
TO BE HUMBLE in our wanting and receiving is a must. We are broken and stripped down to HUMBLE us to that which can be our greatest of ways to receive and KNOW HIS greatest LOVE that resides all around us and Within. For some, many will not focus on Him until much all has fallen away and left no where else to look.
I AM on my own in this reality again outside of the LORD so as I could see more clearly and FEEL and again remember who has and remains standing right next to me. I have learned to expect nor even trust any other to be here as well, as I learned, here in my moment, this is all me and He.
To not be caught up in a drama filled life where the agenda was for me to rid all of my identity and please and provide for those who had gave away their own ability to know despite me having my own disabilities I was still healing from. To truly come to that place of truly knowing who they were and who I was separate from them and have the ease to Connect and Call to and KNOW the Lord, Our God despite the darl was thrown in fron of me in many days and in so many ways.
I AM not here with a purpose to save any other, I AM here for HIS purpose alone which in part is KNOWING and Speaking of all HE has and IS for me and the gift(s) he has allotted me. IF my words lead another to Him, I AM walking as He has called me, and if in doing-so they are saved, that is because of them finding Him, not me.
In sharing more time with those who had no such Belief in the True Creator or more-so a fake demeaner (my kids’ father is atheist as well) that they held onto, I was able to break away more and more of the walls that had been built up in me on my path of having to survive again and again and not truly live for the past at least 9 years…more-so closer to 20 as much was just healing outside trauma.
I was on a mission to remember not only who I was/Am, but to come back into full knowing of His Presence in my life as I chipped away the lies that they tried to live and pull me into. I Am here to live and push through as well so as my kids see from my living and Believing the Work and Gifts that God provides always to His Believers.
Thankfully, there was a ton of resistance in me to their ways of being (they never liked this) so it was not easy for them nor were they ever fully successfull in pulling me in as I was reminded fully (now 20 years ago) of who My Creator, My LORD IS and His undying Presence in My Life.
He Believed in Me, so I felt no fear walking this path of desolate alleyways and affection being kept at bay always.
I had to break away By Choice the walls that kept His Presence away from me (chipped more and more away to allow cracks which Light shown in every way) and I AM Thankful that they all came tumbling down rather quickly though it was another hard hit to take and recoup from as I AM Here and Now and Knowing Him and FEELING the Wonder in all that IS and IS to come by His hand.
I nurtured the reality I lived for a long while with them and much as I notice with me as a mom, I nurtured my hurt and pain and I kept it held within me in a space that would not allow it to overwhelm me and as such when I was ready to move on, it started to slowly flood on out and leak and bring on symptoms for me. It is a process but I AM getting Free again from having LISTENED and moved away from such which is a Beautiful thing.
Yes, I was caught up in thinking that is we are to just love one enough, they will want the best as well and they life will just turn and flow for the better of all. I had to learn again that not all want such that is for the betterment of all, nor according to selflessness according to what is of and only His, Our LORD, God’s path.
The LIGHT NOW is abundant in Presence and FLOW and I AM happy.
My life is not easy there are moments I feel alone for a sec or 2 and having much all my support leaving the building per se’, but I do not allow it to eat away at me as I know the best is just on the other side close and soon to come as I Believed and Allowed Him on In.
My 20 years has built me up for this, so I AM doing ok. I AM having to Grow again and Rise in my own way in Hearing Fully the calls from Him as I take more steps on finding my way again but my steps have never been on my own without Him. I AM Grateful for the Peace that He has instilled in me, especially during these times…and I Know and Trust that this means so much more than I can comprehend at this moment. All in all, it is a good I can depend.
This war is spiritual, we are called to Seek out and Find Him..to Fully Embrace Him on In and in turn, ALL WIll be ok. That IS His Promise.
In such, I have made no effort to move again yet. I mean, I just moved here, right? lol I know my sis wants me closer or at least in that one moment she had, but I AM Feeling and Reading when I can, my way through. and writing when I can too.
I AM just here to LISTEN to Him and right now, I AM not Feeling called away from here like I thought I had. I AM allowing Him to lead me and at this moment, I have not been driven to take any steps. I Fully Trust in He, My LORD and in this trust I plan to remain, BE.
Holy Spirit by my side, Within and Throughout Me, Guiding Me Always where I need to Be. This I trust and Embrace further in every way as I have seen the proof always in my life, esepcially the past few years in the DEEPER I allow in and Embrace He my greatest friend.
I AM to trust He, and only He, HIS PLAN and not my own, and right Now there is a peace and a Love in me that keeps me here for now. and thankfully this lil place remains cool enough for the kids and I too.
I may go try tomorrow to look nearer my sis and apply, who knows, but again, it is not up to me, it is up to him…so as we all should, I await His timing and I PRAY and LISTEN to Only Him.
There is Great Power in His Word and I AM taking note and Seeing and Feeling more as to the proof in it all.
There is a path that we desire before us and sometimes it truly is for us to walk and in other times, it is not our perfect time to venture such nor our perfect path at all. Some may resist the shut doors and the symptoms that come up Within and throughout, but I have learned to LISTEN Always and be brought exactly to where I need to be. I may want to resist and I may want to go back and bring along those who swayed off my path or grasp opportunities thought missed but if all is meant as per His plan, they will return on their own or I will Walk in such a way that Blessings in other ways will be brought alive. I just hold that place always of Love Within Me and trust in Him.
There are people that we may care deeply about and wish to share many moments or even a lifetime with but as per our destined path, we are shed of them for a moment or even a lifetime. The choice is not always our own. Sometimes they may return and other times they may be gone for good, but in keeping focus on Him, all that is right and pure in what is Truth will be brought to Light and maybe even returned to one’s life once such has found Him and the path is better set for such to be intertwined. In other times, it is just not meant to be and the timing for us to grow from such a shared experience had past and expired for us but again, nothing is to be forced, it is all to remain as per His hand, His plan for us with trust that Our Best is to come in trusting and knowing that is what He wants for us all. There is no one that is not worthy in His eyes of such.
I have spoken about us having a purpose here and while I said also that life is to be enjoyed, I admit that I AM not fully correct here either. This is still my path as a student who is learning, remember that. This world is our ultimate test and we return until we get it right up until what is deemed to be now as per the End Times. A new beginning overall is up to bat for those brave enough and Believing enough to Allow it to Come To Be.
I said that we are on God’s timing, not our own, but too, it is always in our favor as well as His to shift this as per our own focus and our own deeds and Praise and Belief. We as a society fell off the wagon and ventred forcefully the wrong path for all too long, it is time we have come to be forced to shift such as I had been forced all those 20 years ago. Embrace the ride folks as this train is not stopping any moment shortly. Just hold that Belief that your ride is controlled By His Light, By Him, Our LORD.
If there was ever a better time to come to know Him, that time is NOW. Best if you come to choose this rather than being forced to face all you do not want to see in order to come to know the brilliance and wonder that is His hand.
Well…head is heavy now and and it has gotten much hotter in this room, so time to bring this to an end…but some more.
We Embrace the Love that We Are and we Open and Keep Open our door to allowing ourselves to come to know Him and Trust Him. We shed all knowing of who we think we are here in this world as truly all this is a darn illusion my friends as in this so-called reality, none of anything matters outside Knowing Him,. We are called to remember and know Him always…to trust and follow Him always as in this we will not be led astray.
We Open our door to others in this world as well in a transparent fashion and we Live Our Truth and we let our ways and Gifts through Him be known with Heart Synced Beats Open fully Within a certain fearless vulnerability always.
We testify our trials and our moments of being saved by His hand and Love and offer our Praise and our rejoicing in the Power through Him that we had been heard, granted and have received.
In this, we come to this place of Peace, we are returned to a PEACE in Our Reaching For and Seeking and Coming to Know Him Further is truly what this IS.
We come to this place of Eternal Love (that for many of us) we have sought since the moment we had taken our first breath here to live (though it had been in us all along), and we come to that place that we fear not the path before us despite the dreary outlook, nor the flames that line every curve of our Walk as they attempt to cross and block our way as we are equipped with the Full Armour of God, we are ready and Eternally His and shall always continue on from this on into our place Within His Paradise as we come to accepting His Truth and Abiding In His Ways. We were not built weak, we were Created in Pure Strength and Resilience as well as Fearlessness.
We are owed nothing here as we have already been given the greatest chance and blessing of all. We are here to not only prove ourselves and our devotion but to owe the LORD for what he sacrificed for us all in order for us to Live Eternally in what is truly His Paradise.
When I Started this, I meant not to come off as what is deemed a Holy roller, nor even write of the LORD as often as I have. I AM Imperfect still, not the Perfection that He has sought and asked of me To Rise to and Be, but I AM called and I hear loud and clearly NOW and so I continue on, with Him threading always in Me this song I AM to sing as I remain with Him by my side and for my kids as well.
I only know to Walk the path He has set before Me as I would never want to be any place other than the Knowing and Truth and Love that He holds for me. It has been easy for me to hear as there was a great falling away of all else eince my injury and now with my kids older and more able to take on much more for their own selves.
Maybe some moment upon this path, I shall Be Blessed with a Peace and Truth-Loving and God Adoring and Fearing Warrior to stand next to me who Is Real and True in all ways, but I AM not worried as I have Him, My LORD, My God, Always, hand in hand as I BE and Embrace an Open Door and Knowing who He IS and Always shall BE…RIGHT HERE and NOW unlike any other in this world has been for me and even my kids, HERE and NOW with Love and Full Open Heart and Belief in Me as well, which is what I always sought and is all I shall need. (Major run on again but oh well)
Here and NOW Unconditionally He remains and always has as I have remained Aware, Calling, Seeking, and Listening, and Abiding By His Ways more and more as I grow today.
There is a gentleness in Me that I keep on finding, expanding such as the waves of the sea, glistening and gleaming and parting such as the Red Sea, a path ever-long but oh, so Pure and Blessed In Light for not only Me but this world to Embrace and Live and Breathe. All it takes is for us all to want such and Focus HOME on HE and Trust and Love and Embrace our own ability to Hear and Listen to Him, Believe.
With Love,
Cene
MBerCene@MBerDream.Com
MBerDream.Com
M*Ber Dream 
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