It was then
Rippsed from this face
He stuck my smile
To a wall
As target of darts
It had become
It was after
My Smile kept planting seeds
Inspiring Beams of Light
To Stretch on out, Engulf
It is Now
Here Within a new reality
Illusion all wiped clean
Songs a pouring in
Now I AM free to sing
Free to dance again
Smile Now upon My Face
Heart in chest
Rhythm in hand
All because I had returned
the Grace In Him
Kids have abandoned me again for the weekend. Ha! j/k
I went for a short night drive, well, a little longer than planned but it was peaceful and enjoyable and the start of the above poem came to mind towards the end.
I think such happened as on the way back home, I was traveling near the roads I used to turn off to take to the home of the recent ex I lived with and with him having attempted to call me yesterday which stirred up a certain period of sickness in me as well, I say the message Within Me IS clear. The guy truly did not like me being much of any kind of happy outside when he felt I should be which is crazy that I attempted to paint that as something different altogether.
And so I continue to Focus Here at Home and on my kids and on God and NOT answer unwanted phone calls as all is shifting Beautifully so I will keep doing what I AM in holding this focus.
Well, it had been another hot day but again I have been very thankful my small cooler works well enough to at least keep the place frm burning up. We seriously have lived in a trailer prior to the most recent RV that had no insulation and was so old and cripidated that you could seen the sun through cracks and separations in the wall and flooring. Good times.
This again is also the place that had the sewage disaster and had a very bad black mold problem which is truly eye opening now in reading further My Bible as it is said that when one turns away from God, such as these issues in part shall arise in one’s life.
I AM just sad that I had allowed myself to become lost again and having my kids live in such disgust for the time I had as well, we truly had no other place to go and I AM sure, there was a time frame that I/we had to live such for us to come to wanting better overall to the point that we were able to allow such that IS the Blessing in.
If any of you can follow along or are trying to here, this is my life and if you can piece it together, you will see how there is a cause and effect to everything and yes, the cause always starts at home which yes, IS YOU.
It starts at home from truly losing sight and connection to that which truly Is Home through Christ.
I AM truly Blissed out that I finally was able to clear my head enough despite the repeated trauma and deep drama to Flip the Darn Switch back on as in The Light so as to Walk as He intended me to all along.
I realize more as well that I speak a lot about FEELING and such but truly in FEELING one is becoming more and more aware of not only Love that is Within but more that is The Christ Within. When you FEEL such, you know you have Connected Full On, and will know that you are well on your way on the right path intended for your best.
I will have to write more tomorrow as I AM exhausted and my head is now weighing on me as it is starting to hit me hard. It is pretty typical as when my kids go, the stress and the having to focus so intently on handling this world in which we share hits me hard and all at once (told ya I was winging it all 😉 ) so I AM making myself go to bed now though I AM truly resistant to doing-so but I know I need to so I will Listen as I, in no way, want to to get lost again.