Forever an Angel to me
A beacon of Light
Always Lighting My Path
Directing My Ways
All the more I Listen to HIS song Within
Each and every silent
I come to find
This testing of My Faith
and Within the realm
I AM ever-building in Me
a Perserverance that Sails me on through
and I LOVE finding all I can do
I Love learning more that which is My truth
In Line with His Truth
With Faith in Hand
So, here I return again after rest and a small shopping errand as I Am trying to keep our food stocked and not diminished in any way just in case there comes a time when it will be harder to have what we essentially need.
I Pray for my friend today as I have not heard back from her since she returned home. I wish I could do more to help her from her place of pain and her place of what I know is deep abuse, but during this time we all must focus at home and on Him alone.
I must trust that she is good hands as she is the one who helped me return to my full Faith and so I know she has a strength in her that will get her through. I even had inspired her to return to praying to God the last time we had spoken and I AM thankful she had. In losing her son many years ago, she had carried an anger towards God which is understandable. She finally was able to start to talking with Him again and I Pray that she had stuck with doing-so since I last seen her. All in all, I keep her and her son in my prayers…even her husband who is lost in his anger and ways of fear which explains his reason he attempts to control his wife in all things. We must Pray for all without hesitation.
The role I have been assigned, Gifted with, and must adhere to and strive success for is me being a Believer and also me being a Mother. My duty here outside holding a Deep Faith and Knowing of God is to, (through My Faith and My Knowing of His continued Presence and also Promise) is to stand strong in the face of any and all trials I AM faced with, to Endure them all on through to the end and also all along Be Thankful for all the tests as I AM only being built for Greatness and to Walk Within the Realm that is indeed HIS Paradise.
Listening to Derek Prince today on Endurance (requirement of Christian Life) and also Kinds of Tests…so far.
We must strive to come into that place of Knowing His Word, His Ways, His Laws, and His Continued Presence in our lives.
I learned more on how I AM so Love focused and I understand now that the Love I speak of is in no way worldly as it is the Pure Truth that was/IS Within the Pouring of the Blood of Jesus. The Love of Jesus is incomparable to any other thing here and is Truly something that we all would only benefit from such as all others.
I do not know that if I AM truly saved but I have a Purpose here to at least Inspire others to want to come to that place of His Truth and what is the most Beautiful and Real Love.
Our greatest test is to overcome all that we have been taught and have allowed in this world to limit us with and separate us from. I notice it more and more that many may speak of fearing the dark and all its ways but truly I see that many more fear God himself. I have been watching a guy on the tube that rewards people out in public when they tell him a single Bible verse. It is amazing how many refuse to even turn to even look at the man as he approaches them and then others who seem welcoming until the name God is mentioned.
It is truly uplifting when people without any hesitation share and those who seem so sparked and uplifted by sharing pieces of His Word…His Promise.
I have been watching homeless being asked for change to help another and when they do share even their last 10 cents, they are in return given back their change and paid 100’s if not thousands in cash for their giving…their Heart.
Many of those who are homeless fall to their knees in tears and their first words are most often, “Thank you Jesus.”
In our trials and the further breaking away of all that is the illusion of this world which includes the people and our relationships, the veil as it is called becomes more and more transparent to what is truth.
For many, it can be a hard pill to swallow when we see what many do not, and in return are called crazy and have a world turning against us. For some, it is quite freeing as it had been for me, but I will admit that A Lot of pain did occurr over all these 20 years of what has fell away and became apparrent to me.
I wish I had only held My Faith all the more stronger in my time of very vulnerable mind and had been able to help so many more. I wish I had not become so caught up in trying to Heal when it was already automatic By Him and on His Time not mine and that I would have focused on taking more advantage to the days I truly had very little veil between this world and that which Is His.
Now please know that in my experience(s) I AM in no way better than any other, of more Light than any other, of more knowing, etc. We each have our place and we each have our own calling we are to Listen For and Answer To.
I AM not sure I AM on perfect time with me being where I have come to and I Pray that I AM and if not, at least Walking in the way(s) He has called me.
None of us truly know IF we are the Perfection that He Seeks us to be. We do not know IF we will be Worthy enough in His Eyes to enter into the place of Love that ONLY HE has created for those who ONLY HE finds have proven their ability to be seated Within His Kingdom.
I have always Believed especially since my injury but I became stubborn and attempted to carry it all that was thrown at me and my kids and find different paths to where I felt I had more control of all that we were living.
I called out to God but it was not in any way consistent as I lost more and more of myself (despite holding very strong and focused and knowing) as the world continued to chip away at me and attempt to paint me in the ways they sought to so-as they could in a sense, FEEL just as strong or stronger than I had.
In me having survived all those years ago, some seen me as something that had the ability to help them, that I held some kind of secret to avenge death and one’s downfall in the ways they feared. People follishly expected me to pave a better and easier path for them when my own path remain one of struggle and continued healing and mothering and when I could not and finally did not hold up to their expectations of and from me, they turned hard on me which honestly was a Deep Blessing for me.
I have no ability here outside Believing and Trusting in the LORD. Despite all the hell that we can live here, I have only found Peace and a Comfort in My Walk when I have focused fully on HIM, the LORD, GOD.
I see now too that since my return I have not been punsihed in any way with FEELING it all and LOVING through it all, even what turned to seem to be the wrong people, the dark one’s, the users and the abusers…as I was shown more of who Jesus IS. He Loves with no bounds just as He did on His Cross for all of us.
There has been paths I wish I had taken instead. There has been points in my past life all along and before these 20 years that I had wished to return to and make right, make better but I came to find that there is no making it right.
Despite the pain and the loss (and what had felt as such deep loss over the years) it, in what may seem weirdly worded was perfect for the path that I had to lead, had to LEARN to walk Imperfect (on to as close to what He sees Fit) to not only Find Him Fully but also find and know myself in Truth and chisel out a path that may in many ways better guide my kids towards Him as well the better in their lives…This I Pray.
We all want an easy fix and an instant gratification in this life to appear before us the moment we want but there is no benefit to such, it is merely a further and more easy breaking down and stripping away of what Truly could be Our Greatest Strength to Endure and finally be welcomed into the Promised Land that He is ready to provide, not just one or a few of us, but all of us who Repent of our moments of sin and turning away from Him.
Some, I know, hear one speak of sin and having to repent and they are automatically turned off from what is being spoken of and of course they are…as I said, not everyone is ready, not everyone will come to that place of being made right in the ways of what He requires at the time we do pass on from here. I, for one, was not right, and was returned here to the place I most wanted to leave and be done with at the time.
I was returned in a new way that my mind was washed and my Heart was strengthened as to that I would have no other option but to Love no matter the risk, no matter the pain, no matter how much I may at any one moment (even if for my best) want to run away or know of what loss is to come.
Christ was not able to remove himself from the nails on that Cross, nor was he able to cry out in the ways that He was released by His father either. In many ways, Jesus held his moment in strength and Love that much that He sought only to endure to the very end which was His greatest gift to us all.
I AM in no way comparable to Christ, no one is this form is truly, but this is just a portrait that shows a lot for how we are to Walk the path laid out before us, which is without question and with the fullness of our focus on Him and our Hearts Strumbing right along. We should all strive to be close to Chirst as posisble. The pain and the trial is that much easier and shorter term when we surrender and allow ourselves vulnerable to His presence, to His hand in our life.
Anyways, it is raining here and it is so Beautiful and Wonderful to me. I LOVE the Rain and I know it is His Gift and I AM thankful as such will help aid the fighting of local fires as well as clear the skies. I AM waiting till tomorrow to go and get my daughter as it will be harder to drive with it pouring and my vision without glasses, though I could have very much trusted the LORD in doing-so, I felt Him holding me here for tonight so it will be nice to take in the day-rain tomorrow on my trip down and back up here again.
One guy I have loved listening to as well on U Tube lately is “It’s Church Life.” He does the shorts and also longer vids but I LOVE his voice and presence. Check him out if you will.
Lift Your Spirits*
With Love as we continue forward,