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Seek and Find

To Drift Upon
To Sit and Dwell upon
To Laugh and Smile upon
to let go and Move on from

Such Beautiful Intricate Pieces
Pieces of Limbs and Breath
Pieces of Heart Beats
Blood Flow
Even those of what had been bad

Such as
that we have lived
that we remain Walking
and making our way
Toward More
or Away From

Build us up for the path
Build us up to play more Beautifully
That which is our most True Song

Poetic senses remain on standby it seems…………..

Sitting here listening again to Ice Dance by Danny Elfman. This song has been pulling me in deep lately. Just looked out my window and saw a semi truck passing by that read “Imagine A Place” on its side. Hmm…God Is Speaking to me most definitely and with this song having started playing right at the very moment that message past, I AM definitely there.

Spinning and twirling, Embraced by Love from all directions. No tears to fall only a smile that curves and Lights up the sky from which the snow does fall.
A warmth surrounds me and I AM Happy…truly and FULLY Happy, honestly the happiest I have been In This Very Moment.

I AM Free just as I have always wanted to be but I also FEEL held and supported Beautifuly and Softly and yes…LOVINGLY.

I AM Light as a feather and this world olds no worry nor weight upon me. I AM the glistening of the stars and the flicker of each piece of ice that does fall. The coldness that brings us to Embrace the warmth their is all the more.

The iciness that calms our nerves and places all else on standstill just as our thoughts gently align with the falling of ice in time, the falling of all that had been our resistance and desperate need to control as in this icy moment, we are without any such control as the presence of this FALL, of this Beautiful and Whimsickle Falling we are only called to and left in a trance that ascends us only to that which is Higher and Most Delicious.

I have to use this verse from Psalms 147:16 as it includes me being that of Ashes of course: AWESOME*

Psalm 147:16
He gives snow like wool;
He scatters the frost like ashes.

Isaiah 1:18
“Come now, and let us reason together,”
Says the Lord,
“Though your sins are as scarlet,
They will be as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They will be like wool.

Through Christ we have been washed and yes, purified in that which we have Found Belief in Him and His Sacrifice for us. By His Blood alone, we are cleansed fully in the moment we come to know that we as humans are all sinners and by simply owning our mistakes no matter how big or small and calling upon LORD Jesus and offering repentance for where we have faile(in the depths of our Heart) and in that, we are WASHED and New, Reborn Again. We must Reborn to truly become Free to Be HIS and He as Our Own. There is alittle more to it I AM sure but The Old Self has to die as it is called.

You have to become NEW in all of your flesh being here as well as fully connected to that which is your truth of Spirit and to God the Father, the LORD Jesus.

Proverbs 31:21
King James Version
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

My House serves the Lord as I continue to plant seeds and Pray as well as Believe. I Open the door for the Blood of Jesus to wash this home and all I Love and in power that is Prayer it is done.

It matter not where any other I Love is in their life, My Prayer has tremendous power for them as well and I came to also words that spoke on the idea of planting seeds within the family system as I have and I AM Grateful again for being on what is confirmation of my right way on my path for my lil family and here writing as well.

This post may be pretty scattered as my mind has been kind of off much of the day so bare with me. Trying to pull it together. I think I Am still exiting standby mode from my talk with my son honestly. Ha!

There is so much to be afraid of at this time just as the Bible speaks (wars, famine, etc) in the world but there is no reason to be. I FEEL Calm and Amazing honestly despite any and everything else and my only plan Is to Look to Him. I have found and came to the place again where all my Faith and Trust is Placed Within the LORD and HIs Promise. It can be that simple and it is becoming more-so to me and I AM glad to be right back to that place I was so strongly when I first arrived home all those 20 years ago. Writing has amazing power in itself especially when we are focused on THE ONE.

I should be terrified or most may think I should be (I mean a brain injured single mom…come on now) but how would that serve me..honestly, HOW WOULD THAT SERVE ME or my kids? What a focus to give away whatever power I can have to hold this fort and line our world with a boundary of protection which is most definitely THROUGH HIM.

I Lived it when I barely held Belief and I see it more and more Deeply Now that I fully Believe. He has my back all the way.

If fear served me, I would have stayed at the previous place of residence on a property with a very narcisstic and mentally abusive family. I would have kept giving myself to a man who honestly infected me each time we were intimate. (what more obvious sign could I have received??!!) TMI? Not so, as it truly was something I started to Believe (by his words thrown at me) that I was broken. It pays to pay attention, to LISTEN.

God showed me the path straight out of there the moment I fully awakened to it all and asked…by like only a day as well! Could that be more obvious that I was making the right choice? I AM pretty sure it was actually only a few hours as it was overnight and the answer BAM!…fell in my lap the next morning.

No, things are not perfect here but in noticing more like the mentality of many here, I know they are just depressed and trying to hide as so many do up in these hills. Running from something just as I had in my past.

If having a neighbor that finds a sense of power from their being bond in their pain in me being ther negative focus, I welcome it, as I know who I AM and I know in me holding My Own Light despite their judgements and stares and negative comments as I well as continuing my prayers for them as well, maybe I can Inspire them as well while I AM here or at least they may find Him in their life to turn that curve they need to finally.

I have been there for sure, so I recognize it and I do not judge it but I cannot help but to speak of it here as I have lived it for sure. I just hope all who are lost come to find their way in a way that is of Light and not Within the comfines that are pain. If serving is in part for me to receive the negative attention of others as they find their way, I AM ok as again I wear the armour of God.

There is nothing that fear serves outside complete saddness, separation, death, and destruction and loss of all that is HIS ETERNAL Promise. Seek to Know Him and Trust in Him and all is set and perfect, all is lined up and Perfect in the moment one lets go of all having to control and resistance to what some refer to as a dang fairytale. This is becoming child-like again truly, so if that is the Fairytale…so be it! BELIEVE and Truly Live, Believe and Receive His Promise in Full. SIMPLE.

Mark 11:24 – Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

There are a few prayers that have yet to be answered I think for me but again, maybe they were in the me not having such or it has not been the perfect time to Receive yet. Again, only HE knows the path that is best, only he knows the best way for us to get to what truly may be that prayer answered in full in the good of it…The Best Of It

Again, remember that I started this new blog AGAIN with no real focus on the LORD. I honestly had no plans on writing so much about HIM nor attempting to shift the world by the few or many who come to read my words and witness my own experiences and come to know my own story. I honestly was in full resistance mode to even look towards this path for me. I was foolish to Believe that I had no right in sharing any part of His Word as I had yet to read fully the Bible.

I honestly had no clue either as to the Biblical timing and such until recent, that is how far behind I AM. But we are never too late it is said to Find and Know the LORD. Honestly I can say NOW that I have been taken by the reigns and I AM being led and I AM thankful as I have no fear, I have no deepending sorrow(s), no bitterness nor shame, no regret (cannot change any of my past…but miracles do happen) etc, etc. I AM truly FREE. This is a good place to be. Step Right In, You are all Invited.

SO, there are those who read the Bible faithfully always but never come to that place of KNOWING the LORD, knowing Jesus, and being Gifted with the Presence of the Holy Spirit.

Remember…YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BELIEVE to start. Just Begin. Even in just Praying in just talking with HIM.

The more I read, the more I Pray, the more I even fall to my knees in tears with all my emotion and repent and even plead for NOT MYSELF but My Children and all who have been all the more faithful than myself to HIM, and I Receive and I see others as well Receive.

I pray for those I Love and no matter where they are now or if they even have any communication with me to this day, they are DEEP in my Prayers and I hope they Feel His Grace wash over them and that they too come to KNOWING Him and Seeking His Promise and their Own Knowing of Self In His Light.

I would say that I hope they know my love but I AM not what matters here, honestly. This life is for Finding and Returbing to Him.

I AM not worried even about the crap I felt today (Feeling great while writing here though) as this is only of the flesh not the Spirit, not the magnificence of His Holy Spirit, His Creation. This flesh is the damn illusion. This flesh is a mere Vessell for us to come to that place to Serve in the ways we are called and to Rise into the World He has Promised…not this delusional hell. This Vessell of Flesh is to Walk this World (Our Path) in and not be swayed nor pulled in to what is so much distraction and sickness…to not be turned away from HIS LIGHT, His Way.

Hmm…yes, there can be so much great and good here as long as we allow (not run from, know we are worthy of) and make it so but there are so many games and darkness tricks here, that so many…far too many, get caught up and lost in the depths of the emptiness and only remain here on an unending path of what truly is digging one’s own grave. For so many, this flesh is it, this flesh defines all a person can be or achieve and that is the lie. We are so much greater but Only So once we come to being reborn, washed by HIM and His Blood and Focused on HIM all along the way.

Well, my head has become heavy again and it is time to break away for some down time. Neighbors been partying it up all day and literally sitting behind my car (right behind) as I was attempting to pull out earlier today. Hmm…not aware at all. I mean, I almost took out the pole…are they not thinking at all? Maybe again though they Feel a certain trust with me no matter or only when I AM backing up not driving forward but heck, if you are sitting directly behind my car or anyone’s car for that matter, of course I AM or they are going to run you over. The excitement of apartment life in the hills.

Mirrors afterall. A call for me to FOCUS more myself of coourse.

Wherever I Go from here only My LORD knows and shall guide me and I know he will keep people out of my way (or at least my eyes wide open) so I do not run anyone over. That is for sure.

I literally had to get out of my car after I started backing up when i saw him in my rearview mirror and ask him to scoot on over out of the way. Sending him my love as well, as there is so much Beauty to Awaken here to, I Pray that he Opens His Eyes in time and I thank God that mine were open enough just as my daughter’s to notice him just sitting casually at the back of my car. Ha!

Maybe I should thank him for Believing in me as it seems he did.

IF there is any one thing that you Feel is holding you back you need to find a way to make peace with it instead of running away from or trying to hide from or wash it out of your system. Time is truly running out that is a sure thing.

If this is a person, you reach out somehow and share with no expectation of the response, you just be true and of Heart. If this is something you failed to accomplish, you try and try again, you put more Heart towards it and make it happen. If this is hatred towards yourself, you learn how to love yourself, you learn how…anyway, even through another at first but do not become dependent of such…find that place in you that you can love.

All the more better to come to Full Belief as we begin to trust our own self more in the ability to know what to Believe and Being Ready for HIM when our day comes. You can make Peace with the Dark that is or has been this life and you can pave your path all the more Open to Give and Receive the Love You Truly Are Worthy Of.

Much Love, For Always, Forever,


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