Burn it All

Just wanting to share this piece for tonight.

“When I write, I belong.” Ren

I realize that others have shared their opinions, etc. about the latest from the musical artist Ren, but I Feel very much Inspired to share my own.

Ren’s latest piece is titled “Hi ren” and I very much resonate with the story and the message of this song. I connect very deeply with who I had been prior to my injury (even pieces of memory that remain now) and with having came across that memory box months back, I now see that what I was experiencing was very much real and yes, traumatic.

Demonic in all ways, truly.

I am not sure if I shared those pieces from my box that showcased the ill of my mind, the continuous deadening of my heart, piece by piece, moment by moment, beat after beat…one emotional wreckage following another as I buried myself deeper in my cave of isolated silence outside the voices of darkness.
I truly Believe that in such states, such as even when on the close divide between life and death, we become “split,” as truly we are…in between worlds, neither here nor there, in between realms of light and dark, wake and full-stop sleep, conscious and blind.

Ren’s commentary at the end of this piece I most truly adore as well, as I LOVE his being raw and indeed, Pouring His Soul out for the world to know. I absolutely adore anyone who can allow themselves to POUR. It is a beautiful thing to me though the pain lived was, is, and remains very real.

I just like to know the stories of others and to know the path they walked into and coming through such torment and being able to connect the dots when it comes to God’s hand working all throughout it. We all should be interested and inspired as even though many like to hide such things, we all suffer. None are without no matter how well they attempt to show such in their daily presentation or facebook profiles, etc.

I, myself, went through a period where, I too, wanted to defeat all that was evil within (at that time) the realms of my life and for those I kept closest (not possible without calling on the LORD), though towards the last (give or take) 6 months prior to my injury, I saw everyone within the confines of this world, (those closest or not) as evil and only plotting to take me out in some way.

I understand it now…as dark spirits had set in and for any other to bring me to any realization of the good I was or the light that I held and had in my favor…by my side, darkness’ agenda would have failed completely though before my final demise, it very much did fail.

This, just like the world today, became my reality as all was turned upside down and backwards. All truth appeared as the opposite in meaning and all the proof I needed to Believe-so was laid right in my lap by the greatest player of trickery.
Thankfully I was able to grasp fragments of His Light as I was pleading and calling out for Him, as otherwise, I know I would have came to the very end.

Such is done…all the trickery, to confuse and tire one (such as a narcissist does to one as well) as when in such a state, most have no way of recalling nor even Believing eough to call out to God, to Christ for the washing of His blood, the flooding of His Light and in turn, no other oath is seen and one would only lay down and give up.

(Such you can see in what may be Ren’s comment on his early struggle…though this has not been confirmed https://genius.com/artists/Ren).
I had periods where I could see good and the absolute pure Love of those that cared for me, (I need to share the photos as night and day just one day to another from complete desparation to ear to ear smile for the world audience) but I suppose it is called splitting as it never held for long it seemed…no one I talk to now knows if I did and the one who may be able to fill me in I refuse to ask as in being my ex (months prior to my final downward path) as I do not want to overstep boundaries being he is married…so I and any of you reading, are left with all of that being of the unknown.

What matters NOW is just that…NOW.

All I know is that I started to pave the path from where I would not just hurt those closest to me, I seemed to know that the worst I could do was to destroy myself…was to remove myself entirely from their lives, as the little light I had, I shone completely upon them.

The oddity of my own struggle was that the way I felt I could destroy others was through only destroying myself as well, the true me knew that I was loved and not alone but the darkness wanted me to Believe otherwise… so in only peering towards all that remain unlit, I became its prey as I was fooled into conspiring together in the depths of what was my sickness (such as having that psedo-personality) and the path was fully laid out to bring about all that was my existence to a full-stop-end.

The path was laid in all perfection one could say with all players right at hand, to prove to me that God was never there, nor ever existed anyhow. The greatest liar wanted me to Believe that God was the lie so as I could lose my soul in the end.

I felt very alone even being surrounded by love and I Believed that everyone was after me other than satan himself as such forces acted like a friend to some degree though harshly critical of me and that all else had ill intention for me, that love in any way spoken to or directed towards me was just a piece of trickery…the great lie…although the lie came from the one and only poor sick boy, lucifer to suffocate me entirely as I had a voice that sought to be free and could bring about good change for myself, my inner circle as well as maybe the world or at least a sweet few. In whatever count it may had been, I could have saved some souls.

I had a well of Brightly Lit Spirit in me that had (in what had been my happiness) continued to Rise up and come close to overflow out into the confines of my own life and maybe too, the world. I became vulnerable the moment my brother passed on and dark more and more grew closer to me as if a friend. I became most happy with that late ex, but in a co-dependent way I suppose so it is a miracle in itself that I let him go at all.

You wonder why so many who are part of the creative arts and ways of self-expression become so lost or end up dead? Well, (outside many areas of industries involved and the sick ways of such things) such is ever the workings of God…the Holy Spirit, coming through and bringing in full the connection to all that is of His divine and in this, whether we choose to or even want to, in our creating, we are forced to look at ourself on the deepest level, to know a truth of ourself that oftentimes is far too much to withstand, TO FEEL the Fullness of it all, especially when others resonate with such and their energy is added into the mix, their pain, their struggles…their Light and dark meshing with our own moment after moment until we find how to close that overwhelming door.

We often come to this place where we see the whole that we have let ourselves become in this life, or even fell victim to, if you prefer, and we come to ask ourselves how we can help any other when we remain so damn broken ourselves? This questioning gives way to dark to start, to begin to play on the waves of ones mind and further the waves from each and every heart beat…the start of trickery…leading us to confusion, leading one to question further and come to doubt to come to slipping and falling and proving self as a victim and eventually all too weak to even breathe, let alone, stand again.

Listening to Ren and his song “Hi Ren”, I cannot help but to come to this place of what is Deep Comfort and also an extreme wash of exhiliration that just rushes on over and through me…as it is just Beautiful.

No, I do not in any way celebrate that he suffered and still has some struggles. I do not Feel good about any other suffering as such, but I AM Inspired as he got to the place he IS when in such a deep well of anguish was very intent on drowning him completely out. I AM happy and Inspired further as his videos and his music is added fuel to the fire that will burn all this shi* out.
The Eternal Light is truly Upon Us.

Outside the commentary at the end of this song, Ren put out a video about the same time of the release of this song. The video displayed Ren in his moment of struggle, in what could have been his entire defeat. The video is Raw AF and again, paints the picture of myself that I endured as well though very much hidden.

This song…THIS SONG just brings chills on through me. Not chills of Feeling cold or discomfort in any way but of Feeling that I have found another friend, and also, another Creative Spirit that is pushing on through and this is Inspiring. I Pray that Ren indeed does keep blasting on through as he says in the song that his “music is not commercial like that…that his music is really connecting and the people that find it respect it, and for him that is enough, as this life has been tough, and it gives me a purpose I can rest in.”

I Pray that he is never swayed into turning mainstream or commercial as his music as it is and where it is and I Feel, best for his right path…
and I LOVE this part: “I was made to be tested and twisted. I was made to be broken and beat. I was made by His hand, as a part of His plan for me to stand on my own 2 feet.”

We are not here to just enjoy our time folks. Most definitely.
Actually as a whole, the song is just brilliant in my opinion.

Fulll lyrics:
https://genius.com/Ren-hi-ren-lyrics
Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_nc1IVoMxc

also…his video from which he was struggling tremendously way back in 2014:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaltehH_cNo&t=302s

You see, we FACE the ugly that can enter us and at times even become us. We face it head on and I do say, we call on His Light, we call on God through Christ as HE Is The Way…the ONLY WAY, and …we turn away from the crap. We at least have to find that place where we do not fear such things. I think this is where the Creative Spirit…the Holy Spirit, comes through as when one is taking such that is dark and ugly and of misery, we change it, we weaken its hold as we shift our perspective of such and in this we gain the upper hand.

I would like to write as well that (as you may read later at the link I shared) that Ren was signed by Sony years ago and lost the deal due to his struggles (not confirmed by me) in which I Feel was meant to be and in all truth, God’s hand freeed his path from what I Feel may had been his detriment since learning more of such entities. Ren, just as I prior seems to had been struggling with his full belief in all that he wa shaving to endure and in such, vulnerable, from which such entiities and forces like to take hold.

His story was needed for those of us in this world to hear and know and resonate with and for him Listening and Pouring, I send my gratitude.

Set that Spark, Burn it All,
In the name of Jesus,
In the name of Love.

Cene
MBerCene@MBerDream.Com
MBerDream.Com

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